It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize