Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
