Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
