Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
