Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
