My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
