I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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