Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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