it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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