the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
