He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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