Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Just fell off a train. Bad.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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