just come out here and I will go home with you...
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
