awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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