quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
