im holly from the hills drunk
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
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It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
There r osticjed everywhere
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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