he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
We got so high we made milksteak
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
