Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
