it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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