Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
