so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
