Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
