You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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