Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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