dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
