plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
