Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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