I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Panties = found
Randomize
