i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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