We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
