I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
NoShamevember. You game?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
