we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
