she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
