My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
