quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
