literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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