if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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