Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize