We won't sleep together?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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