I wish my penis had an off switch
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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