I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
he puts the penis in happiness.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
