It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
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We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
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To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.