How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
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