I think I died a long time ago.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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