If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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