My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
