that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
