I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
