I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
