if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
