I feel like I'm in dance class right now
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
