Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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