Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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