Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
It's rum buckets o'clock
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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