Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
