Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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