So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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