May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
