I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
