I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize