I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
