That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
