He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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