Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize