So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
