walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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