I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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