Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
